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Joke of the Day

"Did your date order honey for dinner? Did your date eat the waiter when he brought the honey? Is your date a bear? You are dating a bear."

"Knock knock... Who's there? *sigh* Mormons..."

"We're having lobsters for dinner . Update - we have pet lobsters now"

"What do you call a bee that was born in the USA? USB"

"I named my eraser Confidence... Because it gets smaller after every mistake I make."

"When your friend wants to do a drive by but none of us can see that good at night anymore."

"Bill Gates is giving 100k to help develop a better & safer condom. I don't care how good it is, im not wearing a condom that says Microsoft."

"I can't believe it's 2012 and street signals are still only telling white people to cross"

"If a fat person has a fully functioning penis... If a fat person has a fully functioning penis, does that make them a sperm whale?"

"Did you hear about the Asian guy who was so terrible that nobody mourned his death? He was unbereaveable."