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Joke of the Day

"Complementing a mustache should be a good thing I don't know why she took it as an insult. Edit: *compliment. I knew something seemed weird"

"Don't you hate it when dontyouhateitwhenpeopledontusespaces"

"a girl told me ""ppl dont look at the sky anymor"" so i walked around looking up & it was beautiful & i bumped right into a kid lookin at bugs"

"I started seeing a therapist about my fear of bridges. Turns out I have severe truss issues."

"I'm still waiting for the day that I will actually use x2 + why +8 [(x + 2y 2 = a-z] + 2x 3 + (- 2z = 2. 4) + 10y 5Z 3= k= 9 in real life"

"Why couldn't the man open a fish and herb shop? Because he didn't have the thyme or the plaice."

"What do you call an alien from Austria? Austalian"

"For the past couple of years, I have been saying that the only holidays worth celebrating are the equinoxes and the solstices. I find all of the others to be astronomically unimportant."

"The absolute value of 0 is no laughing matter lol"

"Everyone keeps telling me... Everyone keeps telling me ""There are plenty of fish in the sea"" and I keep telling them ""NO way in hell, I am gonna fuck a fish"""