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Joke of the Day

"What do I think about during sex? My wife waiting for me to get home."

"What car do polite cowboys drive? Audi!"

"So there were a lot of celebrities at the DNC including Alicia Keys and Katy Perry. Hillary was excited because they are on her iPod. Bill was excited because they were on his to-do list."

"My girlfriend is the square root of -100 Perfect 10, but imaginary"

"Best pick up line ever (video) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajCw5XThfsI"

"Where did the salami go on holiday? Costa Deli-Sol"

"Gf: come over Me: can't, playing the new call of duty Gf: my parents are out of town Me: you're 30 years old, grow up"

"My daughter bought a new mattress for when she goes off to school, but was undecided about whether to keep it. I told her to sleep on it."

"What's the worst kind of T-Shirt? A Casual Tee."

"I have always wanted to start a brand of Christian themed lollipops and call them Catho-licks."