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Joke of the Day

"Two ducks are arguing in a bar about quantum physics... One turns to the other and says, 'Quark Quark' The other says, I'll have a Harvey Schrodinger, thanks'."

"I saw a dwarf escaping prison yesterday, and as he was climbing down the outer fence he turned and sneered at me. I thought to myself, that's a little condescending."

"Everybody keeps downvoting my racist jokes It's like a load of black people have suddenly gotten laptops or something."

"Why are most runners single? At best they're ASICS."

"What's a pirates favorite letter? Ayyyy, tis true he loves R, but his true love is the C!"

"What's Jerry Lewis's favorite vitamin? riboFLAVIN"

"My pick-up line ""Hey girl are you a fallen angel? Because your face looks like it hit concrete."""

"Chinese culture lesson In china people used to eat weed That's why they saw dragons and can't open their eyes again."

"What's the difference between a bus driver and a cold? A bus driver knows the stops and a cold stops the nose."

"I like taking pictures with my friends but my mom says she didn't raise a thief"