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Joke of the Day
"What's brown and sits on a piano bench? Beethoven's last movement."
Next Joke
"Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley? A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own."
"A guy asked my girlfriend ""Who would win a fight between a taco and a hotdog?"" ... so I punched him in the head."
"So, did you hear what Lateesha get on her SATs? Barbecue sauce."
"Muslims are like the common cold and SJWs are like AIDS. It's easy to fight off a cold unless you have AIDS."
"Wife: oh honey, I didn't marry for money, the guy I fell in love with had an easy smile, a sparkling laugh & big dreams. then I met you."
"What did the pig say when the wolf grabbed her tail? ""That's the end of me!"""
"Throughout history they've removed a lot of key parts from the bible, like how Satan nicknamed his loofah ""Loofifer."""
"What did the tooth say to the dentist? ""Fill 'er up!"""
"these tweets brought to you by me waiting to hear back from my weed guy"