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Joke of the Day

"A termite walks into a bar... And asks the nearest person ""Hey, is the bar tender here?"""

"- How was school? 4: Trenton said his dad likes to go outside and fight lions - laughs - oh honey - nobody would name their kid Trenton"

"McDonalds could burn to the ground and I bet the fries would still be cold"

"A food truck rodeo is a lot like the game The Oregon Trail You circle your wagons. You trade money for food. And it usually ends with dysentery."

"I really like the concept of train tickets. It's an idea I could get onboard with."

"[wife comes home from work] ""why havent you done any of the things i asked you to"" [the dog walks past dressed as a policeman] ive been busy"

"Why do people say,""You can't make this stuff up."" Nope. Not true at all. You can literally make up anything you want anytime."

"WIFE: *spells out words so the kids won't know what she is saying* ME: [to the kids] I don't know either."

"My new bondage equipment really ties the room together."

"the 7 dwarves got into a hot tub they all started feeling happy so he got out"