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Joke of the Day

"Does Rapunzel use the shampoo ""Head & Shoulders, knees & Toes."""

"[in bed] Me: got a costume from the Princess Leia slave scene Him: omg yes Me: *disappears to change* *comes back dressed as Jabba the Hutt*"

"If breaking a mirror is 7 years bad luck then breaking a condom is 18, right?"

"I once told a guy I was going to attack him with the neck of a guitar... The guy said, ""IS THAT A FRET?"""

"Why did the bike fall down? It was two tired"

"Knock knock. ""Who's there?"" ""Orange."" ""Orange who?"" Knock knock. ""Who's there?"" ""Orange."" ""Orange who?"" Knock knock. ""WHO'S THERE?"" ""The president."" ""Well, why didn't you just say so?"" ""I did."""

"I had a dog that always used to chase people on motorcycles In the end I had to take the keys off him"

"A pirate with two peg legs walks into a bar... The bartender looks up from his newspaper and says ""you're cut off."""

"My girlfriend told me she's ""spotting"" and I'm like yeah right for who? You can't even bench 50 Lbs lol"

"What's the difference between a BJ and reddit gold? Your mom never gave me reddit gold."