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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a baby and baby Alien? One bursts into tears. The other bursts out of tears"

"Buy a boat, name it Relation. Now you can tell people that you have a relationship."

"Micky mouse is in court and the judge says to him ""I can't grant you divorce on the fact your wife has bucked teeth"" Micky says ""I didn't say she has bucked teeth, I said she was fucking goofy"""

"What's a cheese's favorite kind of drug? Amfetamines"

"ME: I think I have a get out of jail free card COP: this is a do 1 jail sentence get the next sentence 50% off & it's for our other location"

"I had a friend who used to draw on her eyebrows. One day, she accidentally drew them to high. When I told her, she looked surprised."

"How is a fish like a bicycle? Neither one knows how to whistle!"

"So, I have a black girlfriend now Burnt the shit out of my hand on the stove..."

"Two muffins are baking one says to the other ""Hey man you got a light?"""

"I just want to feel as important as a person who remains on a phone call through the entire duration of a grocery checkout."