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Joke of the Day

"I was so close to having sex after a long dry spell Then my wife woke me up"

"Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times. Then I pick the block up and put it back with the rest of it's little Lego friends."

"Worst thing about having a one-syllable name: Every ""Happy Birthday"" singer stretches it out awkwardly to fit the song. ""Paaaa-aul"""

"Another joke from my daughter Her: Why did Sally fall off the swing? Me: Why? Her: Because she had no arms. Me: ??? Her: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? Her: Not Sally!"

"My mom always told me to be nice to the neighbors So I told my best friend to suck his own dick"

"I'm weird but not ""sit around the house with my shirt tucked in even though I've got no plans to leave"" weird. That stuff's 4 serial killers."

"What does a woman want more than anything in the world? Nothing. She's fine."

"Last year I took a visual design class... ...and our final exam was to design a fireworks display. I passed with flying colors."

"Not a mean plane joke. Wouldnt want to make a joke about the air asia flight as it would be plane wrong and offensive."

"What do you call a gust of wind that blows a black guy off of a boat? The NBA draft"