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Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the opossum it could be done."

"Finally came up with my new years resolution. I'm going to stop procrastinating!"

"Just read ""The Three Musketeers,"" and it's true, the book is always better than the candy"

"Did you hear about the Mexican train bomber? He had locomotives!"

"I lay on the grass looking up at the clouds. 'That woolly one looks like a fist' I say, as Jack punches me again."

"If you need an ark built... I Noah guy"

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? 100 to Drink... 10 to Beat... or 0 to Eat."

"People should be able to spell arbitrary however the hell they want to."

"I've had it and I can't take it anymore ...ever since I developed that penicillin allergy."

"What did the cow do when the farmer was about to hit him? He mooved"