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Joke of the Day

"What is the best kind of dog to ask for directions? A Chihuahua because it knows all the shortcuts!"

"My New Years resolution is to not make a New Years resolution. I figure I am going to fuck it up anyway... I may as well do it from the start."

"How do you catch an Elephant? Dig a hole, fill it with ashes, and line the outside with peas. So when the Elephant comes to take a pea, you can kick him in the ash hole."

"[jungle book] bagheera: ""you can't fight him like a wolf, you're NOT a wolf, fight him like a man"" mowgli: [writes a strongly worded e-mail]"

"How is an NBA photographer like a Trump supporter? They both want to shoot black people."

"""I got hoes in different area codes."" - World's most disorganized landscaper."

"I was going to buy a book on phobias But I was afraid it wasn't going to work"

"Sheet manufacturers totally have us by the balls. What are we, not gonna buy sheets?"

"How do you blow a tranny? Depends on your definition of a tranny"

"MORON joke Why did the moron think his girlfriend was into metal? He found steel wool pads in her bathroom."