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Joke of the Day

"The new season of House of Cards will be nothing compared to what lies ahead with President Trump!"

"I'm speeding because I have to get there before I forget where I'm going."

"My right ear keeps ringing today. It's the left ear that means your gay, right?"

"An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... They try to have a nice evening, but are forced to leave since everyone is aggressively telling them that they are wrong."

"What's Donald Trump's favorite dance move? Hit the Juan"

"How do you tell a real Ferrari from a fake one? You take a pocketknife and scrape off some of the paint on the hood. If it's a real Ferrari... someone will kick your ass."

"The Vatican has dispelled rumors that the Pope is resigning because he's a pedophile. They claim he just got a little behind at work."

"Holiday Tip: if you boil a turd on low heat the whole house smells like farts."

"What do you call a robot doing the Gangnam Style dance? A Psy-borg."

"What do you call a black gynecologist? A gynecologist, you racist bastard!"