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Joke of the Day

"What is a Trump supporters favourite exercise? White power walking!"

"Give a man a fish, he can eat for a day. Give a man another fish, ""Hey man where's that fish I gave you Monday? YOU ATE IT?! IT WAS A PET!!"""

"What do liberals and homeless people have in common? They are always asking for change."

"Carpenter ants are bullshit, I left a whole box of ikea furniture here, all they did was carry off my watermelon and steal a picnic basket"

"Only is Adam and Eve were Chinese they would've probably ate the snake instead of the forbidden fruit."

"Me: ""This Chardonnay is so nice, I can really taste the oaky undertones"" ""Sir those are just chunks of cork from opening it with your keys"""

"I like to finish other people's sentences because... my version is better."

"My Daughter wants a Cinderella-themed party, so I invited all her friends over and made them clean my house."

"What does a pirate light on the Fourth of July? A m80."

"Happy ending massages don't count as cheating... Women pay to have their cars washed for the same reasons. It takes too long, my arm gets tired, and I get my gym shorts all wet."