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Joke of the Day

"Happy ending massages don't count as cheating... Women pay to have their cars washed for the same reasons. It takes too long, my arm gets tired, and I get my gym shorts all wet."

Next Joke
 
"Grandma walks into a butcher's shop Grandma: ""Hi, I'd like to buy one baloney."" Butcher: ""Pre-sliced or in one piece?"" Grandma lifts her skirt and says: ""Does this look like a CD player to you?"""
"They just arrested my favorite shoe salesman thinking he was a drug lord. They said all the shoes were laced and everyone was trippin."
"Why can't the motorcycle get up on its own? It's two tired."
"I get worried when someone posts a kitten pic with a foreign language, I don't know if they're showing a cute kitty pet or their dinner."
"A sheep walks into a bar. Lots more sheep follow, the barman counts them and falls asleep, the sheep help themselves to free drinks. Genius."
"I think the scariest Halloween decorations I've seen this year have to be All the little blue signs that say Trump-Pence on them"
"why are sex ed and drivers ed never on the same day in Iraq ? the camel would get overworked"
"My penis is so big if i laid it out on a keyboard It would reach from A to Z"
"Did you hear about the case of the schizophrenic ventriloquist? Everyone *around* him heard voices."