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Joke of the Day

"My physics teacher asked me if I understood the chapter on linear motion. I said ""yeah it's pretty straightforward"""

"What kind of bear is best? One that gets you an oscar"

"What's on TV? My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, ""What's on TV?"" I said, ""Dust."" And then the fight started..."

"Did you hear about the blind prostitute? you've gotta hand it to her..."

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Cold and bitter."

"So I got into a fight with a midget the other day... He was stood next to my girlfriend and said her hair smells nice."

"Did you hear who just took on the biggest gentrification project in America? Donald J. Trump."

"A reporter interviewed a 103-year-old woman. ""And what is the best thing about being 103?"" the reporter asked. She simply replied, ""No peer pressure."""

"What's a redditor's favorite form of math? substitution"

"The other day I tell my wife, ""when I look into the mirror I only see an old fat man, I need you to make me feel better about myself."" She says ""you have perfect eyesight."" - Norm MacDonald"