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Joke of the Day
"What did one shark say to the other? These Malaysia Airline meals aren't bad."
Next Joke
"Me: Cleaning the basement. 12yo boy: Let me know if u need help. 13yo girl: Let me know when you're done. Yep...throwing out HER crap."
"I had just stuck my wiener into some golden buns when I realized... I forgot a condiment."
"Someone told me I looked like a pokemon. I told them I thought it was a little Farfetch'd."
"If you keep your child on a leash in public, I will not hesitate to ask ""Does he bite?"""
"Bus stop A man with three eyes, no arms and one leg is waiting at a bus stop. A bus pulls up. The driver opens the door and says, ""Eye eye eye, you look armless enough, hop on!"""
"The neighbor's cat brought me a dead lizard while I was outside having a snack on the patio, so it's now some weird interspecies potluck."
"I wondered why the Frisbee was getting bigger, and then it hit me."
"What did Thomas Jefferson grow? Old."
"I never knew so many 14 year old rednecks used reddit... Then I found r/The_Donald"