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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the hair of a centaur? Humane."

"What do the Patriots and Measles have in common? They both got to go to Disneyland, because some idiot decided to pass on something."

"Did you hear about the sick ghost? He had oooooo-ping cough."

"I like Peter Dinklage in Game of Thrones But I like him better in smaller roles."

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, kinda gross, and picked up at the gas station."

"Babies for dinner What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage!"

"Why did Hitler's Bed'n Breakfast fail? The only thing he served for breakfast was concentrated juice."

"What did the great Ape shout to the pilots who tried to shoot him off the skyscraper? Listen hotshots don't monkey around with me!"

"When I got divorced, we split the house. I got the outside...."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Burns ! Burns who ? Burns me up !"