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Joke of the Day

"Look, I've been following you for the last three doors you've opened. I'm not saying thank you again."

"A Sasquatch is like a regular quatch that snaps it fingers and says stuff like ""OH NO YOU DIT INT!"""

"911? Yes, I was making donuts and... yes, donuts... yes, I'll hold. DAMN YOU GUYS ARE FAST!"

"I have a habit... I have a habit of flipping around letters in a word. You say pencil, I say cenpil. You say banana, I say nababa. You say popcorn, I shut up."

"I sometimes pretend to hate Nickelback more than I do so you will like me."

"What's the difference between a hooker and a mosquito? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it!"

"Why don't black people like pirates? they pronounce everything with a hard ""aargh"""

"How do you communicate with a fish? Drop him a line."

"The best part about pooping with the door open in the morning is being able to see everyone's face at Starbucks."

"Just changed my Facebook name to No one' so when.. Just changed my Facebook name to No one' so when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say No one likes this'."