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Joke of the Day
"What are Mario and Luigi's overalls made of? Denim, denim, denim."
Next Joke
"don't always talk on the phone. But when I do, I walk around like an idiot and touch everything in sight."
"Why do professional product reviewers like vacuum cleaners? No matter how good or bad it is, they can truthfully say ""it sucks."""
"[me as a magician] *pulls rabbit from hat* AUDIENCE: ooOoOo *pulls knife from hat* A: ooOoOo *pulls sautee pan from hat* A: NNOOOOOO"
"A man approached Bernard on the street.. Bernard was strollin' down the street when a man approached him asking ""Which is the quickest way to reach the hospital?"" Bernard pushed him under a truck..."
"If I walk you home and kiss you goodnight, a simple thank you will suffice. None of this calling the cops crap."
"I like my women like I like my wine... Twelve years old and in the cellar."
"Life is short, which means it can't get on any of the cool rides."
"Why do they call a bird that lives by the sea, a seagul? Because if it lived by the bay, it would be called a Bagel."
"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender."