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Joke of the Day

"I just saw my 25-year-old son run water on a slice of pizza to cool it off. I need to sit down."

"Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants."

"So I gave a Friar a joint.... He's a High Priest now..."

"And god said to John ""Come forth, and I will grant you with eternal life."" But John came 5th and won a toaster instead."

"What do you call a young male cow? Cowboy"

"What be a pirate's favorite letter? Ayy, you think it be ""r"" but it really be the ""c""."

"Ha, I told my brother that carbon had seven protons and he believed me. He was mean to me when we were kids."

"Why do Asian women have small tits? Because only A's are acceptable."

"A man gets pulled over, the officer says to him ""How high are you?"" The man replies, ""No officer it's 'hi, how are you?'"""

"You won't drink away the alcoholism."