112493

Joke of the Day

"You won't drink away the alcoholism."

"a friend told me how electricity was measured and i was like watt"

"Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired! ... I'll see myself out."

"I told my wife my secret to losing 50 pounds in 1 minute. I buy everyone a round at the pub."

"A Scotsman was running down the street with his mouth open... He'd heard there was a nip in the air."

"Reasons to carry a handkerchief: 3) You've never heard of tissues 2) You're doing a magic trick 1) You're hiding your face to rob a train"

"So my homework told me to use a table to solve the equation But I already am using a table to solve it. What, should I normally do my math on the floor?!"

"Did you see the news about the Governor of Alabama's mansion burning down? Damn near took out the entire trailer park."

"Thinking of getting a cat? Ease into it by sprinkling hair in your food for a couple of weeks."

"My class was reading a book. It was called Taming of the Shrew. Someone blurted out loud, ""I just thought of a Nazi version!"" ""Taming of the Jews!"" ***** ^^^^not ^^^^oc"