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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic... But if I'm gonna have sex, it's going to be on my own Accord."

"Why doesn't Santa Claus have any children? Because he only comes once a year, and when he does it's down the chimney."

"How many people from Cornwall does it take to change a lightbulb? They don't care, as long as they do it better than people from Devon."

"how would you describe US with first four alphabets? ABCD (A B Cd.....) as in obesity.... Will show myself to hell now."

"What do you call a group of babies? an Infantry"

"I saw that you ""liked"" my status. You want me, don't you?"

"I'm addicted to soap But I'm clean now"

"I got a new job working in an underwear factory I'll be pulling down 800 a week"

"what do you call a pissed off group of door handles? An angry knob"

"Hating people takes too much energy. I just pretend they're dead."