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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Black man and a park bench? A Black man is a sentient creature."

"Hideous monsters for sale! Selling cheap! Crazy wild beasts! Won't last long! ""Honey, stop trying to sell the kids."""

"Get all the protein you can before you die because there's no whey in Hell"

"""I finally caught up with my son."" ""That's good. Progress. How did it go?"" ""Badly. I cut off his hand THEN told him."" - Vader & therapist"

"What do you call a womans vagina after having a baby... ""Baby Gap"""

"me: time to apologize. did you eat the receipt? 8: yup me: ok cause if mom finds out we bought these flowers at the grocery store we're dead"

"There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who can count binary, and those who can't."

"What kind of meat do you give a stupid dog ? Chump chops !"

"I missed the lunar eclipse, but I've seen shadows before, so I get how awestruck everyone was."

"A young pirate asks his old sea dog captain... .. why he wears a patch over one eye. The captain replies, ""Yarr, my parrot shat in me eye... And I wasn't used to me hook"""