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Joke of the Day

"If you're in a relationship. I don't know why you feel the need to upload 10 selfies a day. Look at your boyfriend instead of a camera . You attention seeking hoe"

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"Vladimir Putin didn't want anyone to find his collection of pornography, so he set his browser history to privyet."
"My love life"
"My GPS just did a shoulder shrug and said, ""uhm, take a left here?"" This can't be good."
"Just made this up, probably not as funny as I think it is. What do you call a dozen birds making a rooster? A twelve finch cock!"
"If it wasn't for the random passerby with the horrific deformity, I wouldn't know nearly as much about what the top of my shoes looked like."
"I like my coffee how I like my slaves... Free."
"Vin Diesel's full name is Vintage Dieselengine."
"""Wetalian!"" -Multiple Italians"
"What did one gay sperm say to the other? How are we going to get through this shit"