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Joke of the Day

"[bedroom] TRANSFORMER WIFE: Honey, this is silly. I'd never cheat on you. TRANSFORMER HUSBAND: Okay....hey, when did we get that wardrobe?"

"""What do we want?"" ""A cure for ADHD!"" ""When do we want it?"" ""Squirrel!"""

"Why do programmers hate designing flood defence simulations? Because of the overflow errors!"

"In high school, people called me ""Superman"" due to my light eyes and physical build. Also because I wore my underwear on top of my pants."

"You've heard of alphabet soup now get ready for Times new ramen"

"I live in my parent's basement so I had to dig a deeper basement for my kids to live in. In 20 generations we will reach the Earth's core."

"I just can't get behind gay jokes."

"I started a business... I started a business selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof."

"Just heard a guy at the dog park tell his dog ""NO!"" and then more quietly, ""We talked about this!"""

"I heard Samsung is making a feature film They're calling it Total Recall."