53668

Joke of the Day

"[bedroom] TRANSFORMER WIFE: Honey, this is silly. I'd never cheat on you. TRANSFORMER HUSBAND: Okay....hey, when did we get that wardrobe?"

"The moral of Snow White is if a woman poisons you because you're prettier than her, find some men to chase her off a cliff while you sleep."

"What did they say to the doctor that wanted to sew his own stitches? ""Suture self!"""

"""Wow, you look like shit this morning."" ""Really? That's funny because I was totally going for the urination look."""

"If I had a female dog... I would name her karma."

"Did you know that Miley has a twin sister? Her name is Tyranna and she's a palaeontologist."

"Where do naughty rays of light go? Prism (Note: I made this joke up. Sorry if this little note refracts from the humour.)"

"If Gandhi went on a 100 day journey with no shoes or toiletries... ... he would be a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis"

"You're the shampoo in the eyes of my life."

"Carried 9 oranges up to the cashier and she says ""Ya want a box for them?"" ""I was willing to pay"" I said ""but I guess we can fight for em"""