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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out."

"Have you heard about Michigan's music scene?? I hear there's a lot of heavy metal in Flint. :^)"

"How can you use a banana as a compass? Place a banana on the Berlin Wall. East is where a bite has been taken out of it. [Source](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_Germany_jokes)"

"I got hit by a can of coke... Good thing it was a soft drink."

"If you still pay for porn I have a Typewriter and a VCR I want to sell you."

"I dont't want to die a virgin because that means I'll have to have sex with terrorists."

"What do you call it when the new US president waves his hand? A microwave."

"The bus carrying the Chinese tourists crashed. It hit a language barrier."

"upon my death: 1. tell my kids I loved them 2. give my daughter my jewelry 3. leave french fries in my coffin, just in case"

"What's a drug lord woman called? A drug lady? A heroin heroine?!"