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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't Cauchy lose any weight? Because every time he saw a street pole he imagined two pies."

"I bought my Dad a cheap dictionary for Christmas. He couldn't find the right words to thank me."

"Where do Canadians play Basketball? In the NB - ""eh"""

"Found out that girls do not like re-gifting. So, I was walking along and this girl gave me a major hard-on. However, when I tried to give it back to her, she just slapped me and ran away screaming."

"I was never into long-distance masturbation... But now look how far I've come!"

"My angry wife said: ""I hope you spend an eternity in hell !"".... I said, ""Why wait? I'll take you clothes shopping right now""."

"What's the American settler's spirit animal? The groundhog."

"You're right, sir. It's MY fault that your credit card was declined. Please, tell me again how much money you have in that account."

"Trying to nurture my inner bully to stay motivated. So far, all I've succeeded in doing is stealing my own lunch money."

"""If I had a Hi Fi"" - the next single by The Palindromes."