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Joke of the Day

"I watched a gay fish porn the other day... ...it was pretty homoaquatic."

"I know the rule: if you're dreaming and you're about to pee, wake up! But last night I found myself about to pee on Emma Watson, and man, I just had to see where that one was going."

"I told my wife she shops too much, but she wouldn't listen. She's so damn clothes-minded"

"Murphy's law: Anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage."

"Life is a lot like chess You've always got to be thinking two steps ahead. And most people want to be white."

"I can't recall the hunchback of Notre Dame's name Does Quasimodo ring a bell?"

"Why is Peter Pan on the No-Fly list? Whenever he boards a plane it neverlands"

"How many fat people does it take to get a subreddit banned? [This post has been banned for your protected - Ellen Pao] ^^^NINJAEDIT: ^^^Just ^^^one"

"Why do Chinese warriors die so easily in battle? No matter how much protective garments they wear, there's still a chink in the armor."

"What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? DAMN! My friend told me this the other day not sure where it came from but I laughed "