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Joke of the Day

"It's called a ""Monte Cristo"" sandwich because one day it will return disguised as another sandwich & seek its revenge"

"My cats always look at me like I should have planned something for us to do."

"A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife."

"I was at the doctor... I was at the doctor getting my rectum checked and I asked him ""Where do I put my pants?"" He said, ""Over there by mine."""

"I heard Anheuser Busch is sending 9 truckloads of canned water to the areas affected by Hurricane Matthew. Who knew there was such a demand for Bud Light after a disaster?"

"An officer pulled me over for driving erratically, but it was because some bees had gotten into my car. He must have thought I was buzzed."

"There is nothing in the world that lowers your IQ faster than trying to use someone else's coffee machine."

"What rhymes and let's you instantly know a redditor is a moron? Purple circle. /r/thebutton"

"I heard they're inventing a new kind of bed... ...but most of the theories I've heard are bunk."

"It's Autism Awareness Day Just letting you all know"