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Joke of the Day

"Meta - Despite the rumors I am not stepping down as Mod for /r/jokes. Here's why. I wasn't a mod in the first place."

"What's the difference between mono and herpes? You get mono from snatching a kiss........"

"I saw some guy stealing my front gate... -""I saw some guy stealing my front gate."" -""Didn't you say anything?"" -""No, I thought he'd take a fence."""

"What's Gordon Ramsay's least favorite movie? IT'S FROOOOOOOZZZZEEEN"

"Yo mama, so fat.... that when she walked outside to get the mail, it measured on the Richter Scale."

"What do you call the facility where they make lower quality, but still acceptable, goods? The satisfactory."

"What's 5q + 5q?"

"What's the best side of the house to build a deck on? The outside"

"[getting an x-ray] TECHNICIAN: Quit putting that box of chocolates on your chest. ME: Just tell me which ones are coconut."

"I like how when you pull down on a paper towel dispenser you either get half a paper towel or half the roll."