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Joke of the Day

"I am a dyslexic AMA fighter, MMA"

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"Why was Lindsay Lohan feeling sleepy? He was buying drinks."
"I knew the psychic was a fraud the second she accepted my check"
"Family reunions must be really awkward in the south... Especially when you see your exes there"
"Never trust a big butt and a smile. Where is the rest of this woman's body?"
"What do you call a short Mexican? A paragraph, because he's not big enough to be an ese."
"What do cells say when their sister shoots their foot? Mitosis"
"Women are like the salt of my life They raise my blood pressure"
"The problem with money is too much of it belongs to people who aren't me."
"Me: let's try to catch snowflakes on our tongues! Wife: but we're inside.?. Me: shhhh, just close your eyes."