5306

Joke of the Day

"If she says, ""I'm OK,"" you're fine. If she says, ""I'm Fine,"" You're not OK."

"*runs into dental hygienist in store* Me: How are you? Her: *starts to respond but I shove my fingers in her mouth* Me: Not so easy huh"

"Statistically speaking 5 out of 6 people are pro gang rape."

"Why are people giving something up for lint? I'm sweeping that shit up every day if you want some more."

"Wears a black shirt to a first dates house to see if shes lying about having cats"

"'Vegetarian' is an old Indian word ... ... for 'bad hunter'."

"Lazy rule #35: If you spill some water, it will eventually dry."

"If I had a dollar for every time someone complimented my hair I'd be making money in a really weird way"

"Persuading girl into having sex with you is like spreading the butter on a toast. It is possible with credit card, but it makes more sense using a knife."

"Aliens: ""Take us to your leader"" ""No"" ""What"" ""Look we've made some mistakes"" ""Just take..."" ""It's been a weird year, half of us are morons"""