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Joke of the Day

"I think the government caused all the snow in the South Cause I'm Snowden"

"Son: ""I got expelled"" Dad: ""How?"" Son: ""I wrote 2 + 2 = 41 on the whiteboard."" Dad: ""That's pretty dumb but-"" Son: ""Then my teacher told me to go up to the board..."" Dad: ""Ok?"" Son: ""And rub 1 out."""

"I like NPR because you always know how much saliva is inside every announcer's mouth at all times."

"Want to hear a really shitty gay joke? poop dick"

"Getting marriage advice from a priest is like taking your lawn mower to Burger King to get repaired."

"What do you call it when... A guy from Massachusetts doesn't pull out? A Boston cream pie!"

"10 bucks says Kanye signed the guest book at his own wedding."

"It's not cool to skip on dating someone who talks funny -- just because your english is gooder than theirs be."

"What is long, hard, and full of seamen? A submarine"

"The fences at the zoo are to keep the animals safe from Chuck Norris."