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Joke of the Day

"why should you never sleep with a female beekeper? she might give you herbees"

"Are you having trouble finding your kids' name's on bottles of Coca Cola? Then I bet you wish you'd given them proper names instead of thinking you were clever by calling them Lake and Destiny."

"Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar ? He wanted sweet and sour pork !"

"It's a good thing I'm not a god because I'd probably just end up eating the planets after midnight over the sink."

"My girlfriend wants me to stain the new wooden fence in her backyard. So I'm going to eat spaghetti over it for a few weeks"

"I had a terrible nightmare last night that I ate a muffler. Today, I'm so exhausted."

"if 9-5 is a full time job, and 11/4 is a part time job, what's 9-11? An inside job."

"Airport moving sidewalks are great for when you only want to feel like George Jetson for 10 seconds before you're back to Fred Flintstone."

"I had sex with this girl for 1 hour and 45 seconds last night.... Thanks daylight savings."

"You can't spell 'jew' without the word 'ew'."