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Joke of the Day

"""Usain Bolt, Trump regrets/ Gawker downed by Hogan's sex/ Manafort, Putin's pet/ Lochte lies then hops on jet/ We didn't start the fire..."""

"Wondering why Google has a black ribbon today... I think I forgot something."

"Why did the servant of the Airplane King get executed? He was not Boeing."

"Watched my first porno today... I looked much younger back then."

"I don't get why everyone talks so fast in old movies. What was the hurry? There was nothing to do back then."

"Sometimes I run across a room really fast so a spider sees me out of the corner of its eye and spends the evening worrying where I've gone."

"I really didn't want to go the dermatologist... ...but my dad told me to face my fears! *thought of this while washing my face*"

"someone using bare hands to put salad on a plate is letting you know they're not here for discussions about etiquette or anything really"

"I'm usually pretty inspired after watching a movie to try something I've just seen. [hunts for a movie about cleaning bathrooms]"

"What's the difference between between a pizza and a black person? A Pizza can feed a family of four *Still courtesy of my Comrade Ivo*"