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Joke of the Day

"With gay marriage being legal now does that mean we don't have to call them butt buddies anymore? Good because that was a pain in the ass."

"My boss called in sick today He must have went to Disneyland."

"Who is this rorschach guy..... and why does he paint all these pictures of my parents fighting."

"A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket. She thinks to herself, 'Some asshole's got my pen.'"

"whats the difference between Michael Phelps and adolf hitler Michael Phelps can finish a race"

"Michael Jackson is the epitome of the American Dream Only in America could a poor, black boy become a rich, white woman"

"What part of the vegetable can you not put in a mixer? The wheelchair"

"How many black people does it take to shingle a roof?? One....but you gotta slice him reeeeeaaaalllllll thinnnnnnnnnnnnn....."

"What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A speech impediment."

"a bird doesnt sing becuase it has an answer. it sings becuase birds are jerks who like to hear the sound of their own voice"