52351

Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend asked me to give her 9 inches and make it hurt. So I fucked her 3 times and punched her in the face"

"For just 3 cents a day, all of my followers can help me quit my job..."

"What's faster, the speed of thought or the speed of light? Neither, it's diarrhea. Before you could think about it or even turn the lights on, you've already shat yourself."

"Why do the ladies love Jesus? He's hung like this. (Stretch out arms.) Really one that you have to tell in person, but it's my favorite."

"What's a junkie's favorite videogame? Need for Speed."

"What would Caitlyn Jenner need to do if she changed her mind about being a woman? She would need to reJennerate some balls. What does Caitlyn Jenner do before she goes out? Bruce's up for the evening."

"Hear of the shortest suicide note ever? Life sucks, girlfriend doesn't."

"Why is Dick Clark a favourite star with horses? Because he was a disk jockey from Filly!"

"What's red and green and spins round & round & round? A frog in a blender."

"What is the swamp-dwellers favorite form of extraterrestrial life? the Martians"