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Joke of the Day

"Facebook likes I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This."

"I'm writing a book about a child who suffers from SIDS But considering turning it into a short story"

"*puts a DVD of 'Frozen' and a DVD of 'Dante's Peak' into the same DVD player* *'Waterworld' starts playing*"

"My elderly grandfather came over and complained of diarrhea. He repeatedly told everyone ""Shh"". It took us a while to realize he'd lost ""it""."

"Tom Brady says on the sidelines after throwing his 2nd pick of the superbowl... ......tom: I can't handle the air pressure."

"Did you hear about Mike Tyson's opinion on ears? He had some biting commentary on the matter."

"Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel? A: An air bag."

"Damn girl, are you r/Jokes? Because your shit's getting old."

"If sex was my religion, I'd be an athiest."

"What's black and white and goes on eight wheels? A nun on roller skates. - kills self"