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Joke of the Day

"Dear Evolution, It's a conference call, not a bear attack. How about making me super eloquent instead of the heart rate and adrenaline?"

"What do you name the male and female twin monkeys? Abe and Anna"

"How do we know that hamburgers love classic music? They're often found at the Meatropolitan Opera House and Cownegie Hall!"

"Did you know that Subaru used to be called Subalu? But then it moved to Japan."

"I was more nervous than a whore in church to tell you this But your about as useless as tits on a nun"

"Women are like snowflakes... They can't drive."

"Somebody was trying to break into my house last night, so I rang the police... But Sting said he was busy and suggested I ring the actual police."

"I used to play the triangle in a reggae band. I would stand at the back, doing my ting."

"Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent!"

"Did you know that 82% of women have used vibrators? The other 18% have new ones..."