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Joke of the Day

"I called a rape advice line earlier today. Unfortunately, it's only for victims."

"I'm selling my Theremin.... I haven't touched it in years."

"So, you're telling me my credit score should have three digits?"

"What's that thing called when your crush likes you back? Oh yeah. Imagination."

"A man walks into a zoo... The only animal in the entire zoo is a dog. It's a shitzu."

"David Cameron joke! They say David Cameron is a one term Prime Minister. That term is of course 'cunt'."

"Have you heard of the book about airplane factories? It's riveting."

"I learned two important lessons today. I can't remember the first lesson, but the second one is I have to start writing things down."

"DOCTOR: Do you have any questions? ""Can I shower with this cast?"" DOCTOR: What do you think, guys? PHOEBE, JOEY, CHANDLER, MONICA: Sure!"

"Thanks a lot bathroom doors with the gender written in weird symbols. I just want to pee, not solve a sudoku puzzle."