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Joke of the Day

"Archeologists digging in a site in Egypt found a mummy buried with a large amount of chocolate and nuts. Experts believe it to be the Pharaoh Roche."

"A polish guy goes to the ophthalmologist Doctor: Can you read this? C Z J W I N O S T A W C Z Polish: Read? I know that guy!"

"The Hispanic fruit cup locks eyes with the beautiful lady across the bar... He makes his move, walks over and says ""why, Jello there"""

"""Welcome back, happy New Year!"" ""Thank you!"" ""Welcome!"" And that's the last time I'm taking Bollywood movie suggestions from my friends."

"How does NASA organize a party? They planet. Sorry."

"In my experience, less than 40% of people wearing ""Duke"" sweatshirts are actual dukes"

"Damn shame some of ya'll will get on twitter to say Goodmorning before even brushing your teeth. #mustymouthtweet"

"Remember before you give the finger from the safety of your car, not everyone has a schedule to keep"

"Why won't Derek Zoolander vote for Hillary Clinton? Because he can't turn left."

"Nothing will get this Billy Joel song out of my head. At this point, I'm praying for a heart attack-ack-ack-ack-ack-ack."