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Joke of the Day

"Husband: You're like homework Wife: Why? Are you gonna throw me on the table and do me all day? Husband: No, leave you alone and masturbate."

"What do cows that are stoners say? 420 graze it"

"What does an electrician say while meditating? Ohm... Ohm..."

"Why couldn't the drummer make it to the show? He locked the bass player in the car."

"What did one boob say to the other? You're my breast friend. Badum tits"

"What shatters faster than your smartphone screen? A newborn with osteoporosis."

"I wanted to have a threesome.. ..but then I came to the realization, if I wanted to disappoint two people I'd just have dinner with my parents."

"There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who pee in the shower.. and fucking liars."

"What's the capital of Greece? About 10 dollars."

"What's it called when you a kill a sapling? Arbortion"