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Joke of the Day
"I've never been camping but one time I ordered something from Amazon that wasn't Prime Eligible."
Next Joke
"How did cancer order it's fries? Metastasized."
"BEST ADVICE: Be happy in front of people who don't like you, it kills them."
"Woman on the Drive-Thru Speaker: Will there be anything else? Me: We just met."
"What's the difference between David Lee Roth and Snoop Lion? David Lee Roth was in Van Halen Snoop Lion was in a van in halen"
"Tweriod: That time of the month when all my tweets are moody, retain water and are about chocolate and cheesecake"
"Twin Towers [removed] I'm going to hell for this..."
"[vacuuming] Pick up your feet please. Kid on sofa: No! Ok *sucks kid into vacuum feet first* *turns to next kid* Pick up your feet please."
"Arnold Schwarzenegger's computer Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 8, he replied: ""I still love Vista, baby"""
"Did you hear about the vampire who had an eye for the ladies? He used to keep it in his back pocket."