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Joke of the Day

"Men: The Only creature blessed with the superpowers to make Any machine a smoke machine in kitchen especially when his wife isn't home."

"What do you call a cow that has had an abortion? Decaffeinated"

"What is the difference between a girl in church and a girl in a bathtub? The girl in church has hope in her soul"

"I feel a sense of accomplishment when I keep a pen long enough for the ink to run out."

"The 9th rule of fight club is no roller skates. honestly guys I don't know why we keep having to say this."

"TSA AGENT: take off ur shoes please ME: [hiding counterfeit pokemon cards in my shoes] the dude in front of me said he has a grenade"

"I wish I was as good at anything as Pitbull is at rhyming a word with itself."

"DOG: woof ME: you wanna go outside? DOG: [wagging tail] woof woof! ME: ok just a second DOG: [pulls a gun] woof [gestures to door] woof"

"Why did the bees go on strike ? Because they wanted more honey and shorter working flowers !"

"What happened to the Guns 'n Roses tour bus when it got a flat tire and had to be jacked up? Its axle rose."