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Joke of the Day

"I like to think that hobos that talk to themselves are just recording a podcast."

"What do you call a mentally disabled firefighter? Flame retardant"

"If con is opposite of pro .... then is Congress the opposite of progress?"

"What is a psychic medium? ...smaller than a psychic large."

"Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon."

"While on duty, a police officer comes across an injured baby horse. The cause of the injury unknown, but the officer suspects foal play."

"SCIENCE JOKE A NEUTRON WALKS INTO A BAR AND ASKS THE BARTENDER AND SAID, ""HOW MUCH DOES A DRINK COST?"" The bartender replies "" For you no charge."""

"Why did AMD release black edition cpu? Cause they run faster than white."

"[first day as a celebrity chef] *Just a heartrending 40 minute montage of me struggling to get the potato masher out of the cutlery drawer*"

"Went to McDonald's and ordered a Happy Meal .... didn't work ... still grumpy."