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Joke of the Day

"Two whales walk into a bar. The first one says... ""Eoooooooohahhhhhmmmmmmmuuuuuuaaauuu..."" The second whale turns to the first and says. ""Frank what the fuck is wrong with you?"""

"Masturbation is like procrastination It feels good when you're doing it, but afterwards, you realized you fucked yourself"

"What do you call a fish that's worth a lot of money? A goldfish!"

"Remember when you first joined twitter and you had no idea how to RT or what favstar was and remembered what your family looked like?"

"How do you make a little boy cry twice? Rub your bloody dick on his teddy bear. (think about it)"

"Permanently blinded people of Reddit, what is your favourite movie?"

"""on your left u see fred in camo, on your right is bertha, she has ridden many miles on that electric cart."" If walmart had tour guides."

"I bought a new thesaurus It's nothing to write house about"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Anthea ! Anthea who ? Anthea get home by 8 O'clock or else !"

"My identity was stolen two days ago. They called today begging for me to take it back."