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Joke of the Day
"Schrodinger's Cat is depressed Cat: No one came to my birthday party/funeral"
Next Joke
"Donald Trump says he went to the University of Pennsylvania, but I could have sworn he went to Syracuse. Because he sure is an Orange Man."
"Why should you never trust a noodle? Because they're in-pastas."
"Ur hot plz marry me. *no reply* OH MY GOSH SORRY FOR THE POCKET TEXT LMAO"
"One of the first things they tell you in AA is to stop hanging around alcoholics. So I listened, and never went back."
"What did the Japanese chef say when his mother died? Well, that's the edamame."
"Why do Australians always win 4D chess? Double check, mate"
"On the bright side... We can look forward to four more years of Michelle Obama speeches from our First Lady."
"Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound."
"If Donald Trump becomes President I'm going to Mexico. Not by choice though."