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Joke of the Day

"The inventor of the doorbell OBVIOUSLY did not own a dog."

"I was clinging for dear life to the face of the cliff. As the rescue team approached one of the guys shouted ""Whatever you do, don't look down"". So I started smiling."

"My half-brothers had a Hungarian dad and an Eskimo dad. My dad was from Wales. Our dinner table was like the U.N...only with slapping."

"A puzzling amount of nonsense... If you're sailing through the desert and your house gets a flat how many flapjack a would it take to put that motherfucker up on stilts?"

"You don't give up your car when someone else drives drunk! So why would you give up your gun when someone else commits a crime with a gun?!"

"How do you cook toilet paper? You brown it on one side, then throw it in the pot!"

"There was a fire at the supermarket I work at today. We now offer a large selection of smoked goods."

"I just saw a picture of a duck posing and doing a dumbwhitegirlface."

"My fiance said the funniest thing out of context today. Lewis and Clark were so starved on their exploration, Sacajawea had a hard time understanding why they didn't eat Seaman."

"Kim Kardashian's starts a new political party, and names it Popular Back"