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Joke of the Day

"Found my son and his GF naked in his room, Sex-ED is so advanced. Now, they also give homework!"

"M-I can't go. My Ewok is sick. H-Gigi that's a stuffed animal. M- H- M-Crap. I think you're right. I bet he ate all my Doritos again."

"Just stepped on the scale. Now I have to replace a broken window and add $467 to the curse word jar."

"Fortune tellers I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money. Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?"

"God grant me the patience to accept the people whose outfits I cannot change."

"Boy, if I had a nickel for every time I paid for a $0.95 corndog with a dollar!"

"Bitches be misusing helping verbs."

"Why did the man invest in the kilovolt battery? He thought it had a lot of potential."

"Just got confessed to today... Congratulation Just!"

"I ordered my latte wrong at that new gypsy coffee place and now my shadow is a horse shadow"