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Joke of the Day
"A buddy of mine quit his job at the paper mill, He said the conditions were tearable."
Next Joke
"boy: you have really pretty eyes... me: *suspicious* thank you...??? boy: *leans in slowly* me: NO!!!! You cant have them!!!!!"
"My brother thought his vasectomy ... would keep his wife from getting pregnant, but apparently it just changed the color of the baby."
"There was a homeless guy walking down my street.. I was gonna give him a few bucks but his sign said: ""ONE DAY IT MIGHT BE YOU"". I put the money back in my pocket just in case he's right."
"""Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey, I know you're asleep but I just wanted to let you know that I'm like 14 miles away from your house right now!"" -Trains"
"A photon walks into a hotel. The desk clerk says, ""Welcome to our hotel. You look down."" The photon says, ""You can see that, yes."""
"What did the sadist do to the masochist? Nothing."
"AMERICAN SNIPER is, without a doubt, the most violent entry in the AMERICAN PIE series"
"ME: I had salmon for lunch. WIFE: the L is silent. ME: Ha, I knew that. I meant unch."
"During the Vietnam War, Chuck Norris allowed himself to be captured. For torture, they made him eat his own entrails. He asked for seconds."